:) :) :) :) :) :)

I know you're probably getting sick of this but.....
Me and Eli had the cutest exchange of my life!!!
 so here's how it went:
after insulting his manhood over seeing twilight and apologizing for being so mean
K: you love me?
E:some days
K: today?
E: some days
K: ouch!
E: Kris. Today is someday.
i know i know it's cheesy. but it made me melt. :) :) :)
love you!

Thank Goodness

Dear Best Friend
 I"M IN UTAH!!!!!!
I know you know I just wanted to tell you again.  I have to see you while i'm here. call me and we will make plans. if for nothing else that at least black friday.
I love you!
Broadway Barbie

I don't wanna say I told you so

  I don't think that Eli is a bad guy. And I don't think all your dreams are doomed to fail.
And I don't wanna be the best friend that rains on your parade because best friends don't rain on parades they tell you to wail on the high note when you come in with "Hey Mister Armstein!"

So wail on that high note woman!

The Things I do want you to know:

• You are absolutely beautiful in every single way.

Just look at this face! It doesn't matter what hair color you are, you've got those beautiful blue eyes and that gorgeous Wild Irish Girl Skin and one of the most beautiful, sincere, smiles ever known to man! :]

[(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wild_Irish_Girl) In case you haven't read The Wild Irish Girl by Sydney Owenson, there's a passage when the protagonist first sees her and falls in love with her epically beautiful form. She's a li'l spitfire like you]

• You are so talented. The way you can accumulate knowledge or arts is phenomenal. Your sight reading and your ear are ridiculous. I wish I still had a good ear and half your vocal prowess.
• I want you to take the choreography class so your school can have something to be proud of. You dance like no one I know, Best friend. You're amazing.
• You deserve nothing but the best of all the sparkly, pretty, wonderful things. You are worth every single bit.
• Isaiah 49:16
   Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. Heavenly Father remembers you. He knows exactly what you need and everything you're going to do to get there. Pray to Him. Ask that you might be able to understand the things He desires of you that you might better be able to serve and fulfill the things He has planned. Gosh He loves you.
• Heavenly Father loves Eli, too. Heavenly Father loves us all and even when we make mistakes, like treating his precious daughters like dirt, He still loves us and wants us to show love and forgiveness. The point is I think what he's doing is mean but don't be mean. Just be honest and nice.
• Whatever happens it will all be okay. "Don't worry, be happy."

I subscribed our blog to another blog called Things We Forget. It's full of awesome little messages which will totally pick you up. Another thing that picks me up is laughter.

http://www.despair.com/viewall.html

And in conclusion, I love you more than anything best friend :] If nothing else, I will always be your best friend. Xoxoxoxoxo

go a head and say it

.......told you so.
here's what is happening. so once upon a time I had this idea where my life is a chic flick like "Made of honor" where I am best friends with a guy and we stay that way for many many many years then suddenly he realizes that he is in love with me where he then chases after me to another country to tell me so and we get married. The End. However then I decided to throw in the plot from "No strings attached" where we are just friends who make out but don't have a title or anything. Why would I do something like that would you ask? Well because you see, Eli is leaving on a mission for two years and I wouldn't want things to be hard for HIM. So by not asking for a title he wouldn't have to be worried about losing me. cuz you can't miss what you never had right? idiot. Anywho. So then I had this brilliant idea to grow a back bone and tell Eli straight up that I did not want to be make out buddies anymore. I still want to be friends but a I am a girl I am suddenly attaching feelings to the relationship that is nonexistent making life very uncomfortable in the fact that he doesn't want a relationship and can honestly see it going nowhere were we to ever have one which officially fucks up any plans that I had and ruins my perfect chic flick ending. However then I haven't got the balls to actually tell him any of this as i don't want to hurt HIS feelings even though i've spent plenty of nights bawling over the fact that he's flirting with other girls and i'm supposed to be okay with it, or the fact that he is still leading me on with clearly no desire to do anything about the fact that i like him.and that he remains blind to the fact that the reason I spend all of my time/money on his is because I've grown quite attached. So I need help to maybe grow up and put my foot down and tell him what I want with full knowledge that he's probably going to run the second I say the word relationship or serious talk. any words of wisdom would be nice.
and thank you for finally shaking me awake to the fact that i am being treated like dirt, and that i don't want to be the "secret friend"
I LOVE YOU

BEST FRIEND!

I love love love love your new clothing. I signed up for classes today :) all i have to do now is pull out of my computers class with a C. :S it sucks. but i've been letting myself get so distracted by Eli. I know i should just be good and  get my homework done and get enough sleep but.... it's hard..... ya know?

Being Girly

 The fashion daily. This pinky sweater is the whole reason I went back to Wet Seal last weekend.

 The idea is that it's a warm Fall/Winter ensemble with a soft girlyness to it. I don't usually rock girly but man I love this sweater!

 So I paired the sweater with grey leggings, thigh high brown suede boots, white cami, and a brown necklace.











Pink is a good color for me this time of year with the red hair and pale-ish skin.

My own regret about this outfit is that I'm too fat to wear it.
What do you think, best friend?

Oh my Best Friend I miss you

I have been having an incredibly odd week as well. I'm sorry about your nasty roommates; you should make a chore chart ;]
You and Lynds need to band together! I will back you up on this one, haha.
You have got to come visit my new room and my very own bathroom! :] I have pink and orange towels so I am decorating it in orange and pink. [I'll post pictures at some point when my stuff isn't still in boxes.] I bought a fuzzy pink toilet seat cover and a fuzzy orange floor mat. Am I crazy? Yes, I am totally excited about decorating my stupid tiny darling organized girly personal nobody else's stuff but mine bathroom. My roommate's seem to be ridiculously antisocial, however. This saddens me. Basically I miss you like crazy. I am shopping for a used snowboard because I have my whole schedule planned out for next semester and Friday afternoons I'm taking the snowboarding class. Tell me about your school? When is your Winter break? Are you coming to Thanksgiving and Black Friday? I need you to help me find a black friday snowboard and black Friday towels.

My classes for next semester:
Biochemistry 1 - Chem 3070
Instumental Analysis - Chem 3050
Calculus - Math 1220
Chem tech seminar - Chem 39 something
Lab Safety - Chem 2600
Snowboarding Level 1

I'm taking my Calc based Physics from SLCC next Summer so that I can fit everything in and it wont be too expensive :] Only $700 dollars for five credits! Woohoo!
[That woohoo is a comparative of the $3000 price tag from the University of Utah]

Tell me more about your life and how your new club is going and your show choir.
Xoxoxo love you

hey

So i decided that i'm stuck n this funk where i don't want to do anything and my roommates are driving me absolutely insane! take yesterday, so i spent my afternoon cleaning the kitchen and living room because only me and lynds does and it was clean for like two minutes before krystal and her "open relationship" boyfriend came in and messed it up. i'm sick of being the only one who cleans around here.  Hope you're having a better day than I am.
Love you
Broadway Barbie

20

First of all I LOVE to whole 90's look you're going for! I totally agree with the ass comment. they really did know what they were doing. i just got my new boots. they're a little big but i figured i will be wearing them with thick socks. :) my hair now looks gray. but that's because I added an ash blonde which almost makes it look gray. but.... whatever. I'll rock it.  being twenty is..... dull. all we do anymore is watch movies. i'm so boring. i need ideas of stuff to do. help me. or eli will get bored and find someone else to play with. oh and i'm done kissing him. not because i don't like it. but because i'm sure that he's going to pull a mission line if we keep it up much longer.
I Love and Miss you.
Broadway barbie

A New Fashion Thing

 The inspiration for this combination: my obsession with the 90's, going bra-less, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer

 I couldn't find any particular pictures of her dress that looks like this, but it catches the essential elements I do believe.

The dress has a square cut body and high neck line: classic nineties.

The real shine is in the accents; black tights are sexy, warm, and still showing enough of the body shape. The nineties may have gotten a lot of things wrong, but the way to show a woman's butt is nt one of them.

The boots are just because they're fabulous. Gold matches gold in the dress, the black goes with nothing but the black sweater I put over it to make it more modest. But it's sexy right? ;]

Broadway Barbie:

         It scares me when you talk about having children :) You're barely turning twenty. Yes, yes keep thinking too the future. Just don't forget to be twenty with me for a while :P
Glad Eli is being nice and things are going well :) Emilywhat'sherbucket is out of le picture?

Tell me what else is going on. What are you doing now that Drowsy Chaperone is over? How are your classes?

Today is my Fall break; I'm spending pretty much all day at work. And I stayed up waaay too late last night.

Just kidding, not way too late. I had planned on going dancing and staying out later. But because I didn't get my wonderful sleep that comes from exhaustion after three hours of dancing, I feel really sleepy. I was at Jared's til about twelve. We made things blow up :)

We made NI₃ by mixing ridiculously concentrated ammonia with iodine crystals and then filtering out the excess liquids. When it dries you get nitrogen triiodide. This explodes if the wind blows too hard and a loud pop with a characteristic purple iodine cloud. You remember how iodine sublimes purple at room temperature, yes? Needless to say, Jared has a cabinet of chemicals in his closet and I am sooo jealous! I think I'm going to apply for the stockroom job here at school so that in about a month Jared and I can clean out the cave [aka: big dark room full of old nasty chemicals and lots of unwanted but wonderful equipment and such] and I can take home whatever Dr. Seager will let me have and play chemistry on my own time!!! I'm so jealous; Jared is so ridiculously smart. He's being doing the kind of Chemistry I've been reading about for years, but actually buying the chemicals and doing it.

This is Jared drooling over a newer model of a gun him and his Dad have been shooting for years. Can you imagine what it would have been like to have a father? On the upside, my Dad's around now and Jared's Dad lives in Washington and never sees him.

I am now playing a game of catch up in a world where Daddy left, Tricia never got ballet lessons, or expensive chemicals as a child. Can I you imagine how smart or talented I would have been if my parents weren't so dumb? ;) Hahaha don't tell my Mom I said that; she's fabulous in every way. I just wish I was smarter.

Nonetheless, I will continue studying and praying and hopefully someday I'll get where I'm going. Wherever that is.

The Things I love about October:

• Pumpkin ice cream from Farr's, Macey's, or anywhere else that has it.
• New pumpkin flavored Jamba juice which has just the right amount of weird to convince you you're being healthy. [But seriously, really good. This is a recipe that could easily be accomplished with almond milk, nut meg and pumpkin]
• Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
• Haunted houses everywhere: I am trying to get to Haunted Forest this year!
• An excuse to throw on a dress and a tiara and play like the seven year old I really am.
• Pumpkin carving
• The opportunity to help everyone with costumes
• Classic scary movies
• Your birthday (28th)   
• Tasha's birthday
• Heather's birthday (28th)
• Grandma's birthday (28th)
• and I'm sure there's more but I'm tired to typing in bullets.

 This is the pig, that turned into the pig from Angry Birds. Now I need to make a bird pumpkin haha :P

 

I am missing you lots this weekend and hope you will have a fabulous time doing whatever fun you and Eli can find! I will send you pictures of my suuuuper sick make up technique that I'm trying for witches' night out tonight.

Happy haunting and much love! xoxoxox

Geek Girl

Broadway Barbie:

Please don't have children yet. Love best friend.
Glad you and Eli are getting along so well these days :) Emilywhat'sherbucket is out of le picture I assume?

Dear Geek Girl: trying to not read in to it too much

So you know how Eli is addicted to Star wars? Well they released the original Star Wars action figures and of course Eli had to buy them. Well I was making fun of him saying with his luck one of his kids will find them and open it to play with them making them worthless. well he said he would let his kids play with them. then I asked what would happen if his kids were not Star Wars fans. and he responded saying Our kids will have to be star wars fans. well i kinda sat there for a minute not sure what to say and he said. you did realize that i said our kids right? then he said if we are going to have kids i'm going to have to admit that i like star wars more than i like star trek...........and since then he's made several comments like that.... about us being together.
EEEKK!!!! *Happy Dance*
okay okay i'm over it but i wanted to tell you

love ya,
Broadway Barbie

Dear Best Friend; trying not to overreact with concern

Um lots of the things on your list are good.

Being temple worthy and like Christ especially. But Kristal, that sounds like hell. You're pretending to be something you're not. It's impossible to be contradictions of yourself. I find it hard to believe there's a reality in which a fifties consumerist doll can exist with an intelligent woman. I encourage you to strive to be talented and to develop your mind and abilities. That's a groovy idea! But it sounds like you're almost willing to allow someone else control of your life. The only will you should be submitting to is that of your Father in Heaven. He's really the only one that matters; and if you do what He asks first He'll give you everything else that you want. Being brunette has nothing to do with anything and you look better as a blonde. Perfect nails and no make up? You may as well wear sweats with sparkly stillettos. You love sparkly things; you love your ostentatious, unique, and beautiful style. I don't want to lose you to an idea. It's good to think about what you want; so could you tell me what it is you want exactly? I see your plan of how to get what you want, but I'm lost as to what you're actually trying to get out of it. Be careful. You're a strong and beautiful woman. Nobody is perfect and we all have improvements to be made; turning into a Barbie is not one of them. From the honest parts of my heart, your last blog sounds like an ambition for Stepford. (And no, this has nothing to do with your obsession with Matthew Broderick.)

I want you to be happy. I'm glad you're thinking about what will make you happy. But you of all people should remember your theatre roots. What about "You Can't Take It With You"? Were you happy being stuffy Mrs. Kirby? Things of this world like nails don't make us happy. Learning more about ourselves and the people around us is what makes us happy. You deserve somebody who loves you. Just you. Not your idea of who you wanna be, just you. You are incredible; you'll continue to become more amazing as time passes and you improve and replace bad habits with good ones and learn new things and go through new experiences which change your mind about things. Don't make yourself for a man; make yourself for you. Be happy with you! If you're not happy, by all means change something. But damn it don't just be somebody's idea. You're more than idea. You're a daughter of God. You have immeasurable power for good and equal opportunity for evil. Choose good; I know you will, but I'm just reminding you. You are who matters to Him and to me.

You are my perfect best friend.

Have you been reading your scriptures?

I've decided there is no way on earth I am not getting A's this semester. I am going to work my butt off. I am smart enough; I am going to take better care of myself so I can show that on my tests.

Which reminds me, go buy a pomegranite they're in season and they have lots of antioxidants :]

I am moving in with Troy's ex girlfriend Suzy. Hahahahaha hopefully she doesn't remember me! This will be my new place . I will have my own bathroom and share an apartment with two other girls. It is cute :) I am excited.

Know what else I'm excited for? HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!

Are you coming down for Frightmares?

Check out my second costume:

I need a bright yellow or blue or red wig, [and a high def camera] but essentially the idea is 70's style comic book damsel. What do you think?

I also have a really awesome masquerade make up trick that I am dying to try out! I made new fake skin and I'm ready to zombie it up! :D Are you going to be down for Halloween stuff at all? Your birthday is coming up!

What do you want for a present? Let me know :)

This is the view from my new cabin: are you down to come play?

That is Bear Lake :) I have a lake!

Xoxoxoxoxox looooooooove you!

My New goal

Okay so here's that deal. 
I want to be Eli's type and i know that's dumb and such but i'm going to try anyways so here's what i'm going to do.
1. Go brunette
2. Stay temple worthy
3. Not care what people think
4. Be well rounded
5. Stay in shape
6. Have an educated opinion about everything
7. Keep up my appearance 
8. Learn to be more "house wifeish"
9. Be always pleasant
10. Treat Everyone with respect
11. Learn how to communicate better
12. Be Supportive
13. Learn to not nag
14. Sing and dance in the kitchen
15. Strong personality
16. Wears an apron with pride
17. Smart
18. Well cultured
19. Well educated
20. Confident and bright
21. Christian
22. Republican
23. Can Cook
24. Starts with emails ends with a book
25. Speech as polished as freshly done nails
26. Nails Always done
27. Little to no make up
28. Flawless Grammar
29. Words of intelligence and level of competence
30. Be able to Discuss current events
31. Make plans
32. Smile
33. Volunteers in neighborhood
34. works day and night
35.Paint, Sudoku, quilt
36. Be Calming, 
36. Be soothing38. Be Humble
39. Be Modest
40. Be Dedicated

Dear Geek Girl: Lets take some action Baby!

It's time for me to stop messing around and GET BACK TO WORK! Perfection doesn't happen over night and I've been wasting too many nights crying over boys, coming up with excuses, and just being lazy. Honestly it's gotta stop. I need to pull myself out of this funk and bring the kick ass Broadway Barbie back. I need to stop distracting myself. How else will I get on Broadway by the time I'm 25 if I keep doing things like this.
So here's my plan to get back to the Fabulous Life:

1. Get on to Broadway by the time I'm 25
2. Be your best friend FOREVER
3. Be a performing missionary in Nauvoo
4. Get My weight back up to 115lbs. (I dropped to 105. :( )  
5. Go to Vegas for a weekend just for the hell of it 
6. Get my grades up (No More slacking)
7. Be friends with Emily what's-her-bitch. (girls have got to stick together)
8. Get to Utah a bajillion times in October
9. Get my bachelors in Musical Theatre!!!
10. Get my temple recommend
11. Participate in a 5K
12. Learn how to snowboard ( I Lived in Utah for heavens sake)
13. Marry in the temple
14. Marry My Best Friend (not you best friend. different Best Friend) 
15. Have 2 maybe 4 kids
16. Have a boy first
17. Own a teacup puppy
18. Travel the world
19. Go on the fastest roller coaster
20. Be Honest
21. Be nice to (almost) everyone
22. Dress up Always
23. Read the Scriptures 
24. Get back into the habit of Praying
25. Go to All three hours of church
26. Be outgoing
27. Be an example
28. Bring in big hats
29. Run for a political office
30. Be the Best Person I know

I love you!!! You should join Google +. yes?

We can do it. We can be better. We will be amazing. Because we have each other.

Kisses
Broadway Barbie

The Actionary is Back

Fuck Jake.

And that's all there is to it :] He doesn't deserve me, I'm leaving him in the dust, this is the end of line, hast la vista baby, I wont be back, don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way, this girl is long gone, I'm not your toy, erase me, I'm not a doll and this ain't a doll's house, don't tell me you love me, don't confess, do it alone, cry me a river, clarity, circle of life, the winner takes it all and I'M ON A BOAT BITCH!

Can you tell my ipod's on shuffle? Well it's time to make a Jake CD. 

I called him and we talked. He's gone into his bishop; I'm going into mine. He apologized which I appreciate. But I realized as I talked to him that I have so much more to offer than he has to offer me. I'm tired of selling myself short. I will be everything I dream of, and that girl is much too good to drag his ass along with me. [After this blog I'm gonna stop swearing]

"Do or do not. There is no try." - Master Yoda

I don't want to drag myself down anymore. In order to organize my thoughts, I intend on making several lists. I'll begin with the list of everything I'm setting my goals to become.

Tricia's Ideal Self:

1. Graduate with a Bachelors degree in Chemistry
2. Hold a current temple recommend
3. Participate in at least one Orchesis concert
4. Weigh 125 lbs.
5. Be accepted to a graduate Chemistry program in California
6. Hold a career where research is a possibility.
7. Become a spokeswoman for a Woman's Center or some type.
8. Become scuba dive certified
9. Learn to do a back flip on the trampoline
10. Become proficient in research methods
11. Go to Vegas for a weekend just for the hell of it
12. Learn to surf [at least the indoor kind]
13. Get good at snowboarding and own a board and boots.
14. Own a chick bullet bike 
15. Be an inspiration
16. Become personally acquainted with Jesus Christ
17. Read the whole Bible
18. Be consistent in attending an institute class.
19. Sing in front of a real audience again
20. Successfully pass Calculus 3
21. Love myself
22. Sport blonde hair for another Summer or two
23. Paint my living room with a red accent wall, own mahogany furniture, and keep white couches.
24. Own an American Eskimo dog.
25. Collect comic books that I buy at yard sales.
26. Throw a glass of water at my date and yell "You cad!"
27. Ride the tallest roller coaster in the world [or a really really really tall one]
28. Play on a rec volley ball team.
29. Have you as my best friend forever and always
30. Be your maid of honor at your wedding
31. Spoil the crap out of your children
32. Design a house for myself
33. Vote in local and federal elections
34. Be completely honest. 
35. Be fabulous in every way on this list and many more. 

I want you to know that I love you; you have been the best friend I've ever had. I'll never leave you. And I have faith that Christ will never leave me. I know that the atonement is real, and I know that I will be clean again. I will do my best to serve the Lord my God.
Much love,
your very best chemistry major

Dear Geek Girl: Oi Vey!

DO IT!

I'm serious here. If he wants to be with you (and dump his cousin) then he need to clean himself up. If not kick his sorry ass to the curb.

I'm sorry you've been feeling......down? That doesn't really cover it.... I know.... but yeah. That sucks. But now your mom knows and she's on your side. So don't get to mad at her for hating Jake.... I kinda hate him too. I'm just too far away to do anything about it. if i wasn't I'd sucker punch him in the junk and yell "YOU KNOW WHY!!!!"  lol

Anywho your boots are soooooo cute!!!!!! I just bought a dress and I will model it for you when I can. :) I think the outfit is adorable. An absolute success.

I don't have to go to the howl if you can't find tickets it's no big deal. I'll just find another time to hang out with you in a slutty costume. i don't know what i'm going to be yet... we will see. :)



I think I am over my infatuation with Eli..........or at least I hope I am.
So I told you the main reason, but here's how I found out....... So Eli and I were at rehearsal and i got cute character shoes and was putting it on when Eli said to me "I just got asked the same question three times." so naturally i asked what question? and he said""well they were asking who I was with. they said that they all guessed you. then Emily and now they just don't know."  so I was all cute and joking, and said "yeah what's the deal with that?" and he said "well I've reached me goal of becoming the departments man whore." so I asked if that was really his goal and he said "yeah. didn't I tell you that over the summer?" to which of course i said no... (I mean really! If I knew that in the beginning I wouldn't have allowed myself to fall for him.)

I've told my roommates to tap my shoulder whenever i talk about him... because i do tooooooooo much.
:( I MISS YOU!!!!!

Broadway Barbie: My Inner Sickness

So now my Mom knows everything.
Everything.
And she wont stop asking questions.
I think she's freaking out worse than I am.
And here's the really sick part; now that she hates him, I'm defending him like it's nobody's business. Wtf?

Here's how it happened: I don't really remember how the conversation started but my Mom asks me:
"Why do you suck? Do you need to go into your bishop again?"
"Yes"
"I don't think you need to, you just need to repent and stop."
"... No I think I need to go in."
"Why?"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Okay. Well I don't think you need to. Unless you're having sex; are you having sex?"
"Yes. Well I was raped first, but I did have sex after."
It just came out. And then she made me spill. And I told her everything except who it was. But she kept asking so many questions and not understanding the situation. Saying that now I just need to never see him again and I'll be fine. She just didn't get it. So I told her who.

And exactly what I was avoiding happened; she feels totally responsible because she introduced us. And she keeps talking about how evil he is; why don't I agree? I mean, he raped me. And now that my Mom made me talk I'm feeling all of these ridiculous feelings I've been repressing up until now. Yesterday was absolutely ridiculous. I cried, screamed, sketched, danced, cried, yelled, drove furiously.... I don't even know. Her asking me questions keeps making me relive it. And in a way that victimizes me to a point where I've never admitted that I was a victim. And as much as I hurt and hate him for making me feel this way, I wont let her talk about him like that. I love him. And yeah, he's completely screwed up.
But he's my screwed up.
And I empathize with him. He was victimized, too. And I know how hard that is, especially when you're so young. So part of me doesn't even blame him...
Retarded, I know. He's a grown man and shouldn't be such an ass.
But he's so... I dunno weird in a beautiful way?
It's difficult because I know every wonderful thing about him... I also know the most horrible parts of him.

What it comes down to is this: I am going to be temple worthy. If he's not, he can get the hell out of my life.
But how do I tell him that?
"Gee, sweety I love you. But uh, if you don't go into your bishop and clean your shit up we're not happening. Kisses!"

Actually that's not a bad idea. Is it inappropriate to text that? ;)

Dear Broadway Barbie, you're not horrible. Perhaps insane?

Oh my best friend, I think it's adorable that you like Eli this much. I'm glad he makes you feel good and happy when he's around. However, hating the poor girl is probably not warranted ;] She just has good taste like you do! & I can assure you she's not as pretty, awesome, or talented as you which means she needs all of your friendship. I think you're groovy; Eli just seems a little young and flakey.

My personal evaluation of his actions:

• He made it clear he liked you by talking around the liking you subject.
• He doesn't really want to admit he likes you because that means responsibility on his part
• He brought up how he 'can't' like you because he's going on a mission. Sounds like he likes you enough that it scares him; you're percieved as a distraction. [He's worried he'll want to stay for you if he gets into anything]

I think you can handle this; you're a smart cookie. Just be friends :] flirt a little, communicate, like him and teach him how to act around girls. He has some experience I'm sure, I know it sounds like I think of him as a fifteen year old but I don't. Just enjoy your life and focus on what's more important. [ie: scripture reading, studying, practicing your pieces, memorizing lines, sucking up to rich benefactors, etc.]

Duuuude! We have got to learn how to do back flips and then we need to go to airborne trampolines. It is such a cool place!

I said I'd post experimental fashion pictures and these are the ones for this week: I give you nautica in Autumn

 Obviously the target colors were navy blue, white and red. The red came in three places: head band, boots, and belt made from a $0.99 thrift store tie.

This was an attempt to show the boots.

 Another attempt to show the boots; eight dollars from Saver's on Washington.

This tie worked perfectly because it has gold sailor's knots all over it. The white pants are acceptable after Labor day because they're paired with boots. This turns them from a Summer staple to a white Winter look. The historical basis for no white after Labor day: white was the color the high classes wore over the Summer at their Summer homes because it reflects light and is therefore cooler. Over the Summer there were few guests to be entertained, so as Fall and Labor came about the rich returned to their much dirtier city lives which required darker and heavier fabrics to withstand the conditions.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this experiment; overall I got very positive feedback. Other than the fact that I'm fat as a cow these days. Ugh can I have lipo for Christmas?

I'll posting pics from my experiments as they happen. You need to see my killer Buffy the Vampire Slayer 90's style satin dress. Suuuper fun.

Jake called me and told me how much he missed me and how he hopes I can come visit soon and he loves me and yada yada yada. It's all crap. I called him tonight to ask when the howl is and his cousin with him. Again. Wonder what they were up to... Yuck I shudder to think. In fact I'm going to avoid that subject entirely. Have we decided what costume to make you for Halloween?

This is the one I'm making for Melissa. Simple, but will turn out well I believe. I found an indian thing at a yard sale today which I'm going to incorporate into it. This should be fun :] and Jake said he only gets two discounted tickets. I told him to look for people who'd be willing to give you and Melissa their second tickets. I told them you both were sexy. It's supposedly like the weekend before Halloween, just fyi.



I think I might go to sleep now. Or I might watch a movie. I miss feeling loved: so promise me you'll cuddle with me when you come home. Love you xoxox