go a head and say it

.......told you so.
here's what is happening. so once upon a time I had this idea where my life is a chic flick like "Made of honor" where I am best friends with a guy and we stay that way for many many many years then suddenly he realizes that he is in love with me where he then chases after me to another country to tell me so and we get married. The End. However then I decided to throw in the plot from "No strings attached" where we are just friends who make out but don't have a title or anything. Why would I do something like that would you ask? Well because you see, Eli is leaving on a mission for two years and I wouldn't want things to be hard for HIM. So by not asking for a title he wouldn't have to be worried about losing me. cuz you can't miss what you never had right? idiot. Anywho. So then I had this brilliant idea to grow a back bone and tell Eli straight up that I did not want to be make out buddies anymore. I still want to be friends but a I am a girl I am suddenly attaching feelings to the relationship that is nonexistent making life very uncomfortable in the fact that he doesn't want a relationship and can honestly see it going nowhere were we to ever have one which officially fucks up any plans that I had and ruins my perfect chic flick ending. However then I haven't got the balls to actually tell him any of this as i don't want to hurt HIS feelings even though i've spent plenty of nights bawling over the fact that he's flirting with other girls and i'm supposed to be okay with it, or the fact that he is still leading me on with clearly no desire to do anything about the fact that i like him.and that he remains blind to the fact that the reason I spend all of my time/money on his is because I've grown quite attached. So I need help to maybe grow up and put my foot down and tell him what I want with full knowledge that he's probably going to run the second I say the word relationship or serious talk. any words of wisdom would be nice.
and thank you for finally shaking me awake to the fact that i am being treated like dirt, and that i don't want to be the "secret friend"
I LOVE YOU