OMG YOU LOVE ELI! I kneeew it! Hehehe
Sorry, I had to. I have the rights as your best friend to tease the hell out of you. [If ever you need to get back at me just remind me that I had a thing for Devin Weder. It will shut me up.]
You love him because he's a perfectly lovable boy, and you have a wonderful open heart.
Evidence that Eli reciprocates your feelings:
A) Boys are stingy with food and money; Eli has shared both.
B) He has cuddled with you without any promise of sexual favors. This kind of intimacy is not taken lightly, but don't be surprised if he does want you sexually as well. He's a dude.
C) He's a premissionary. He's probably still exploring how he feels about girls in general, and wont be certain for a few years now. He's very lucky to have you for a first love, so be good to him.
My advice is to proceed with caution. As you point out, you do have a show and an entire year with him left to go. But don't plan all of your moves, miscommunication will ensue. Be optimistic; you are young and so is he. Things can only get better so maybe you should just let them run their course. I love you, and whatever makes you happy and keeps you temple worthy has the best friend seal of approval.
[Unless it's world of warcraft. I'm sorry. I will disown you.]
How proficient are your excel skills these days? I used to be so good at using excel to display all of my experimental findings and data; I have to learn it all over again for my Computer apps in Chemistry class. Do you have any experience in Open office? Open office is free, but has different commands for excel. Do you know anyone who might have the overlay to make the codes for open office behave like excel? I don't know if you'll have any connections here, but I figure it doesn't hurt me to ask.
I am soooo proud of you for being cast as Kitty! You are ah-mazing and I knew you could do it :] I will suffer through a long and awkward car ride with Josh just to come see it :] Do you know how much I love you, now? I miss being in shows. I'm going to audition for the Spring Orchesis concert, though.
I ordered a gallon of green liquid latex body paint which arrived in the mail last week :D :D I'm pretty sure a whole gallon will go a long way. If you want to be an Orion girl, and have fifteen dollars and a free weekend over Halloween, you could totally go to the Howl with me ;]
My love life is all shades of effed up. If I had a way to edit the html and insert my table for this situation, I would. You're going to have to settle for my descriptions.
Jacob: Jacob is so amazing. What I love about Jacob is that he's brilliant; I've never been able to discuss science and math with anyone! He has similar perspectives on life as me because we both have scientific backgrounds; we have amazing discussions about our religious beliefs, science, mathematics, life in general, etc. Jacob and I can really talk. We can be completely honest because we're both well versed in the science that makes up the things we believe in. I don't have to define my postulates because he's already study them the same way I have. Jake and I have a chemistry that consists of ease; we don't have to try hard to get along or enjoy each other. We just do. He dances like a God, when he sings French love songs I don't cringe and lie about what a great voice he has, he actually has an incredible voice! (The fact that we're both awesome singers makes driving with the radio so much fun!) And when it comes right down to it, I just love him. He's screwed up in so many ways, but I love him even more for it. I want to see him get better. I want to help make him succeed, like I always feel about guys, but for once I know that he'd help me succeed as well. I don't know. Ugh
Darren: Oh Darren! The man's man! Another brilliant beautiful guy in my life. Darren, unlike Jake, is reeeeealllly outgoing! I love it! I can always expect that Darren and I will go rock climbing before we'd see a movie, and I love that. Sometimes I'm too high energy for Jake, but Darren can always keep up. Darren and I have endless things to talk about; he fills the sociological conversational needs of mine. Granted, I can only discuss science and mathematics on the surface with him. But he knows enough that I can still talk about what I want to and theorize in the philosophical ways that I need. Darren also dances, not as well as Jake, but he's a good dancer. Darren doesn't sing, but he loves it when I do which is okay. Darren plays the piano like a dream which I just find so attractive. I keep having the inclination to say that Darren is diverse, but then I contradict myself. Part of why I love him. He's completely solid in what he believes, he's morally unwavering. On the downside of that, he can be arrogant and not easily persuaded. I don't like people who are resistent to change. I think part of his hardness comes from the army. Not that he's a horrible person, but he's not LDS and I want him to be. All he'd have to do is paying tithing, damn it! But he's always willing to try new things, aside from politics and religion. And have I mentioned, Darren's really incredibly hot? That boy is beautiful.
Troy: I'm not entirely sure what gives Troy the right to be on this list; I'm kind of baffled to be honest. Troy pisses me off to know end. He's spiratic and selfish and inconsistent and ridiculously ambitious but lazy but driven and adjffffk. I don't know. I suppose Troy's real reason for being on this list is he's the first boy I ever felt the inclination to marry. I've never wanted the temple, eternity, or marriage at all. When I dated Darren for the first time just moving in together seemed like a more viable option. (Not that I ever would.) Marriage kinda makes me queasy, but with Troy I was excited. I wanted to be with him forever and always; I could see us just getting better and working together as time went on. Troy hasn't been to school, and I think he needs to. But regardless of my vast amount of further education than him, he's still a smart man. He's creative, intuitive, and has a mind for business. He has a zest for life; and a childlike curiosity about everything. I love that. He's a lot like me in lots of ways. And I really really enjoy him. But now I'm even more confused because we're some kind of 'friends'. I'm really not sure how that works, or why. I don't really want to be his friend. Of all three on the list, he's the most of a predicament. This is probably because the other two I know I could have, all I'd have to do is ask. But I can't tell if Troy wants me now, or if he ever did. It's ridiculous; do I only want him because he doesn't want me?
Yuck. So much for that. I have to get back to Calculus now; I love mathematics and other subjects which actually make sense!
I love you more than any of the boys on this list and I want you to be my roommate in grad school,
xoxoxox
Geek Girl
