I wrote a poem. I thought only I would understand it but then I remembered you're my twin

What  do I want?
      Something's awake inside me; a realization of everything I don't have. Desires unquenchable dance tauntingly across articles and images curling fingers at me begging me to join.

But what do I want?
      Every place I haven't been, experience I haven't touched, every incandescant sensual moment whispers like a ghost with warm electric lips flitting against my ear lobes and pleading me to touch, to taste, to enjoy the wonders they wish to throw at my feet.

Damn it what do I want?
     Loss makes me remember what I never had; what might have been. What became fantasty seemingly at my hands. Sick. Sands of a beach I've never stood upon slipping delicately through my young and trembling fingers.

What in God's name do I want?
    "Naked vulnerability"
  Poke. Prod. Dissect. Examine.
    "Child. New specimen."
  Disgusting revulsion. Where the fuck's a place to hide?
    "Yes, but look at the immature tearing; the damage."
"You are right, this damage is irreparable. Scar tissue will not recover; regeneration gone the way of the unicorns."

How will I ever know what I want now?
   Despair? No, I've passed that in this cyclical journey. Resignation to a point where my duality separates to form completely different entities far from isoterric. Divided asunder by some introvertly sharpened rapier. Defiance of Dante's hell fire stands in the mirror facing the once vitriolic charr of itself, idenified previously as Resignation.

What was I asking again?
   Who cares.

Dear Broadway Barbie: Recently Dumped and Predictably Responding

So you were right. I should have known better than to throw in my lots with a Republican. The irony of the break up is that he broke it off because of my conservative values. Go figure, I'm a liberal with moral standards making me less than worthy of dating. I suppose I ought to tell myself that he was too short anyway and just move on, but you know how I am. I don't let go of things so easily and I attach to people far too quickly. Unfortunately I care for him and I wonder what score he'll get on his LSAT. Granted I could always Facebook stalk him and find out but that would make me feel more pathetic than if I were posting obscure Shakespearean references in hopes he'll see them, realize what a gem I am, and change his mind. My self esteem is well above this level :] So what I plan to do, as you may have guessed best friend, is go back to my ultimate and eternal rebound. You guessed it, and to protect the names of the innocent, we will refer to him as Landon Browler. Landon comes into my life at the most convenient of times: after break ups, emotional peaks, mostly whenever I'm feeling blue about myself. What I adore about Landon, other than the fact that we both know we're nothing more to each other than perpetual rebounders, is that he scores just below a five on a Tact Scale of one to ten. This makes him rough around the edges, but extremely direct. This forward manner does wonders for my ego as gruff comments like "You have a great personality and a bangin bod :]" reassure me that at least there's no physical problem with me that made the 'Friggin Republican' dump me. As you know, Landon is an extremely superfical person and would not lie to me about such things. Sad I suppose that this is about the extent of the honesty I get from the opposite sex, but I'll take what I can get. I mean, I'd rather be certain that a man's only with me for my body than have a half impression of maybe he genuinely enjoys my company right? This honesty may be the key to the relationships I never get right. Alas I'm extremely young and really shouldn't worry about this; which is another phase where Landon comes into play. We're both so fickle, especially with each other, that we're setting a date to go clubbing and grind up all night long without any requesites that either one of us expects it to go any further than one night. [Bear in mind, I'm LDS and when I say things like 'all night' & 'clubbing' what I really mean is about one in the morning at a dry club for eighteen and up.] This will hopefully get my mind off the pre-law Friggin Republican who contradicts his own conservative politics with his extremely liberal lifestyle. Technically I'm being a hypocrite here because I'm an LDS Democrat who reserves the right to live conservatively while participating in liberal politics. Regardless, I'm angry for being dumped because I'm LDS. If anything I should have dumped him for not meeting my standards; I just figured we could keep going rock climbing until he moves to Harvard. But I think this is enough of my feeling sorry for myself about that guy. I'm going dancing with Landon, some boy with a Southern drawl got my number today, and I'm going to the gym tonight with another sweet boy who's helping me get a six pack. Life is good :] Other than this news, I took my chemistry exam today and calculated even if I miss all the questions I was uncertain of I will get a B+ to A- grade which isn't perfect but acceptable for my Bachelors in Chemistry. I spent half the day reading an excerpt from a Susan Griffin book with highlights on Heinrich Himmler Hitler's high ranking associate; it was beautifully written but disturbing and sickening as the Holocaust always is. I need to hear more about the roommate who incessantly listens to David Archuletta :D & I hope you can come home soon and we'll go on the bungee swing again. Also, I have half off indoor skydiving coupons. Interested? To think I almost used them on a Republican.
Love you so much,
Geek Girl